no one understands.

no one ever will.

oh, my friends it has finally arrived! the eve of christmas! which to me is often the very best part of the whole season combined! it is the day where excitement reigns & anxiousness exalts! i am most pleased with the weather also! it is a lovely grey day & we all know how much i enjoy those! now tonight, i plan to sip hot smores coco & write in my journal of the lights. also, i will light a candle in my room! it will be quite the party, i think! vanilla, pinkie, & i. :) & perhaps some last minute touches on the present i made for ma mere! oh, have a wonderful holiday my loves!

bonsoir, mon amie. je t'aime beaucoup. oui.

the tresses are gone. how sad. i resemble a young girl now. which is a little silly in my opinion. i would very much like a pair of tights from someone. anyone. i love tights, yes i do. (:

this is my christmas blouse. i am most excited to wear it for the twenty-fifth. with a star around my neck too!
oh, the moon was out tonight, hung so low along the horizon, a golden yellow, the crevices & indents so prominent. it truly was a sight. &MY! how people cannot appreciate it! how amazing it was to me! something beautiful, just dismissed! oh, what a shame! i truly do not know how creative people make it. for the ignorance others hold in the art department is truly poor! i cannot help but be astounded! do you understand what i mean? what if i don't want to match? & all of you think it is alright that your socks are not paired correctly. so what can i not wear shoes that don't match my dress? is it a crime to be different? i understand my hair is a wretched mess, but it belongs to me, for it grows out of my head! can i not have it the way i want?
i feel to horrid lately. i am slipping back into the days. the days i feel no one understands who i am. that i do everything with reason. oh, what a pity people only look with eyes half closed & mind not open!
i am distressed, i apologize. & i do not wish to hamper on anyone's spirits. i just want to be loved is all. & how silly, i am hardly deprives of it. perhaps i am just ranting? oh yes, very much so. it is like hermione on spew! hah ha! i do miss my potter... mm, yes. well, if you do read this, i hope you realize my mind is hardly as deep as a ditch. how awful! i must sound like a petulant thirteen year old! i am not thirteen, i am a very very precocious fifteen year old.
oh am i? do tell. your answer excited me.

i like days very much like this.
i must report, i very much do wish that i could find the strength in me. for i wonder what i will do in life. what am i good at? you see, i find a great interest in many things. however, i fear that these things may not support me like i wish they would. oh, could they? how about you? do you ever worry about things such as this?